Down The Rabbit Hole

School Time

2010-01-06T15:28:21Z

First day back at school....yay? I don't have any feelings about this semester yet but I am aiming for a good one. I am hopefully going to Islands of Adventure in a week with Jay, my sister, and cousin; even though it is cold, I am pretty sure we will have just the same amount of fun as on a warmer day *crosses fingers*. I might have to lay off my tattoo appointment until it gets warmer because I need to wear flip flops for the healing process, boo! :( Maybe I will get something small that I have been thinking about for a while so I can prepare for the foot work (no pun intended :P). I also may have to lay off the dread extensions because of how cold out it is (synthetic fibers don't do well for keeping ears warm), but that may be up for debate. We will probably attend Ultra this year, but that is also up for debate because we need to see how much money we can save for that fun weekend. In terms of sewing, I have to start/finish my friend Jessica's outfit and start the plushie line I've been designing, plus start dabbling in millinery. On top of it all, I have to keep a constant work out schedule to keep my health in check.

So in short, I have a pretty busy semester both inside and outside of school. Let's just hope everything goes well and I can get things done.

~Alicole Torren~

Funny...

2009-11-06T17:51:06Z

Coreographed dancing going on in my head to almost every song I listen to makes me smile. I think I want to learn to be a dancer in my spare time. Dancing a go-go. :)

~Alicole Torren~

Crap!!

2009-10-19T13:19:09Z

I have so many projects and exams that I don't have time to do a major project in one of my classes due on the 13th of November. I miss the days when I had time for classwork, it's ridiculous how when you get to college school work gets in the way of school work. Damn scheduling :P. Whatever, I am approaching this with calm for now, but we'll see what happens as the due date gets closer. What makes this project a headache is the fact that it's a team project; that's part of why the project hasn't been started yet because my douchebag team members won't set a time for all of us to meet up, all they do is complain about how we don't have time to meet up and by the time I can get a word in, class is over -_-. Fucking merchandising idiots......oh well, I am trying not to let stress get the best of me.

Go with a smile.

~Alicole Torren~

Jay...

2009-10-12T13:46:24Z

Babe, sometimes I wish you could go every where with me because when you're around things are less stressful. I wish it was the end of the day already :(.

~Alicole Torren~

School...

2009-10-05T13:25:27Z

Just when I think I have a schedule I can work with, I look to the future weeks of my agenda with my due dates for all my classes and I am sent back into worry mode. I was really hoping this semester would be easier to manage but so far the only thing I have been able to some what manage is my stress. Oh well, I guess I have to start doing things two weeks in advance in order to actually be on time. I knew something felt wrong about this schedule of classes but oh well, you always have that one collection of classes that clash with each other.

In other news, the only things that seems to be doing good right now is our financial situation, our car, our relationship, and our families but other than that things are wishy washy for now. Let's hope for a better few weeks, ok? Yeah, that's it, hope.

~Alicole Torren~

And The Wheels Go 'Round and 'Round

2009-09-16T18:38:56Z

So, next week I have tons of things I have to do but I am so fried right now. I have a big assignment due Friday and I am feeling like I am not going to get anything done this weekend because of my want to slump and relax from this week's work. This weekend I have to: Do a design journal assignment for monday, study for a test for monday, study for a test for tuesday, prepare my muslin assignments for draping on wednesday, and turn in my collections assignment on friday so I have to start it during the weekend. Bleh, I think I am just going to do everything last minute as usual >_<.

Just to clarify, I hate stuff that makes me stressed and aggitated right now and so far that is alot of things. Woopty doo for me.....but at least the little things in life can make me happy again :).

~Alicole Torren~

Kanye West Is A Cockhead

2009-09-14T01:44:54Z

I am so tired of that fucker mouthing off without thinking.

I don't normally give a shit about the media but I have had enough with this fucker pulling the race card. We all know that the only reason that he ran up and ruined Taylor Swift's first moon man is because he thought it was racist that she got the award over Beyonce.

Honestly, this situation itself isn't the thing that bothers me, there are alot of events like this happening around me and seeing it in the media proves my belief that: People who have something different about them will use it to say whatever they fuck they want, be it Black, Homosexual, Disabled, etc. I think all people should respect others not matter what makes us different, when we offend someone it does not make it ok for whatever reason we want to use granted by our difference from them.

I can't tell you how many times I have heard people say this and that because I am black or this and that because I am gay. Get over yourselves people, all people have feelings and get offended even if you think they are "normal" compared to you doesn't mean that they can't be hurt like you.

OK, that's enough. I am heated by this social stupidity.

~Alicole Torren~

P.S. If this looks familiar, it was also on myspace :P.

I See Trouble On The Horizon

2009-09-10T21:04:29Z

Starting next week, this semester is going to be kicked into overdrive and I am gladly anticipating the stress, anguish, and pure insanity of the work load to come. Yay....-_-.

But there is good news: our bills are caught up and paid, I am caught up in school work, Jay has more set hours at work, Nazz is recovering really well from surgery, the car is stable and up to date on everything, and the list goes on

So maybe this semester won't be so bad.....maybe.

~Alicole Torren~

I Wish....

2009-09-01T15:20:01Z

I wish today was a less stressful day. I hope tomorrow is better, wish me luck?

~Alicole Torren~

Blah...

2009-08-30T06:00:36Z

I have intense drawing going on right now (fucking wedding gowns), and I am feeling like this semester is going to be a pit of overwhelming stress. But no, I HAVE to think positive....my day is not going as well as I would like (I didn't go to the gym today so I feel cruddy), but at least I can look forward to Jay coming home and mushing my headache away.

I swear that sometimes I am so surprised how him just being in the same room with me makes me feel like anything is possible and that I am not the loser and failure that I think I am (it's a sad result of stress and insecurity).

Onto more lighter things, Nazz is getting her surgery this Wednesday!!! Ahh, I love it. She needs it so bad because her teeth are really putting stress on her health and I just hope that she can hold out for a little longer and makes it through the surgery just fine. I love my rattie babies and I would do anything for them because after all they are my kids ;).

Another thing is my sister started college and is doing swell so far. Yay for her!!! I hope that she deals with the stress better than I do and does well through out her years in school. I love you Tasha ;).

Anyways, I saw Halloween II on Friday (first movie in a while) and let me tell you that it had the most realistic and brutal kill scenes that I have seen in a while. God, I fucking love the crunching, screaming, grunting, and just lovely gore-tastic beauty of it all *hot and bothered*, lol. Speaking of, nothing turns me on more than an undead, rotting, flesh eating beast, and guess what.......Jay has the right medicine for me!! Believe it or not, if I had to categorize our sex life it would be in the horror section, LMAO. We've done blood themed for vampire, rape scene for the brutal murderer, torture for the charming lady killer, deep scratches and bites for the werewolf, strangulation for the confused sex fiend, and now comes the blood and guts for the zombie (this is going to hurt!! :D).

Ok, to get your sick minds of the sexy fun, I'll end it with a random thought. I was thinking about what I wanted to do with my life after college and I have so many things that I want to do that if I graduate and those of you back at home don't have a lot of time to spend with me because I am so busy, remind me that there is more to life than work because I might just forget.

~Alicole Torren~

Blah Blah Blah...

2009-07-29T14:30:39Z

So I have decided to try and post in this thing more often but it will be a combination of a regular journal and a workout/food journal. I did good for a while losing weight, but I haven't worked out for almost four months and I am not in good shape right now, lol. So yeah, all the workout/food related journal entries will be friends only because I say so :P.

On a different subject I am done with the summer semester once I turn in my paper next week Monday. This paper will probably be a crazy one for me since I missed this Monday and they most likely talked about it then, that's an annoying aspect of college >_<. Anyways, I am quite proud of my project, I put alot of hours into making it and I hope my teacher is impressed.

Speaking of school, I am so nervous for the Fall semester. I hate all the stress, it makes me physically sick and unhappy. I just want it all to be over; however, I am turning over a new leaf to get everything done as early as possible and work my hardest to be the best. It may seem confusing that I am getting all rattled like this, so this is my explanation: Every major has at least some where between 1-4 hard classes for the entire major, and for the Apparel Design major, there are 2 classes (Flat Pattern and Draping). I passed Flat Pattern with a B (2 points from an A -_-) but I am nervous about draping, because it's going to be a different teacher that I am not used to (with a moderate accent I might add) and I have just heard really crazy horror stories. Nonetheless, I have to make sure not to procrastinate this semester or it's my ass; I got my first C last semester and I don't want to start a trend :(.

On a lighter subject, I am officially going to become part of the tattooed community, lol. My friends are trying with all their might to make sure of it for this Fall, but I don't know. It's not that I don't want one, it's just that money is tight and I don't want no small tattoos that I might regret for my first one (go big or go home). Blah, I am probably going to be covered by the time I'm 25 ;). Oh yes, Jay is getting me a present of the piercing variety and I can't say what it will be because it is for his eyes only *wink* and whatever family member or best friend that happens to see me naked, lmao!

This year is going to be nuts.

~Alicole Torren~

Sleep....

2009-06-15T07:20:58Z

It just overwhelms me nowadays and sometimes I'm afraid I won't get anything done or ever wake up the next time.

~Alicole Torren~

Sleep.....

2009-05-24T21:34:33Z

I've slept the weekend away, it feels like it hasn't happened, like it's Friday. I hate when this happens, because I usually have something to do; oh well. Jay is coming home to feed me and I need someone now because I feel like I have been in a dream for the past 2 days or so.

~Alicole Torren~

P.S. I'll update more later, it's been a long time.

Yup....

2008-12-23T18:41:35Z

So I'm not dead, I promise. I had my toughest semester yet and I handled it better than the people that know me well would have imagined. I've lost weight and maintained the weight that I am at, my skin got better, my hair is longer, and my knee is stronger. The rats are healthy and the ferret is a pain in my ass, but a sweet new addition to our family. Me and Jay made a year and nine months this month. And....I turn 20 in March, ew!

~Alicole Torren~

P.S. I'm in Miami until next Tuesday. Yay for being around family and friends :D. But I miss Jay`>_<.

Here we go!!

2008-06-29T23:58:31Z

So tomorrow is the first day of summer session for me, wee! This is going to be quite interesting. I am a bit excited to go back to school (I know it sounds nerdy as hell), really I just want to go back because it brings me closer to the fall and closer to finishing school. This semester I am going to try to make regular visits to the flat pattern design teacher because I was told she would be willing to help me out with some things for the fall class to come. It's always nice to be prepared, because I have been told only the serious students study extra for that class before they start it because it is the toughest class of the whole major. Ah well, I'll be ready.

In other news, I have gained back a HUGE majority of muscle mass in my leg. My leg is returning to what it once was pre-surgery, but I want to see how it is in two more weeks to see how far my progress really is (I found out you need to go to the gym regularly for 6-8 weeks to gain muscle mass back) because it has only been six weeks. So yay!! On top of that, working out my leg in the gym has also cause me to lose weight and inches; I lost 6 pounds and 2 inches! That wasn't my primary reason for going to the gym so it's a happy plus.

Things are pretty ok for now although me and my hubby have been considering moving into that one bedroom apartment sooner than later. Our plans of moving in the spring has changed because it seems like our roommate might have plans to ditch us with the amounting light bill that he says we haven't received for some reason or another, fuck that!

I am just happy I am no longer going to deal with idiots anymore because once I start school I am going to take a break from the internet and people back home. I will only talk to the people I love and that is all I really should do, but I couldn't help myself this whole break, I always had a thing for internet life :P.

~Alicole Torren~

It Seems Like....

2008-06-24T21:48:20Z

.....some people deserve to suffer. I believe in karma.

~Alicole Torren~

Um..

2008-06-13T03:53:33Z

...We ate veggie burgers today from the store and watched a movie. It was a good day :).

~Alicole Torren~

AHAHA

2008-06-07T03:34:50Z

Life is such a trip!!

The roommate just came home and talked with me a bit while his friend got ready in his room.

Turns out the whole conversation he was high on X, LOL. He showed me the pill and I just laughed, because he was so calm and talking to me like he was sober.

He told me about that time he came home with his busted up face and me and Jay were like wtf when we saw him. Apparently, when he gets really drunk he thinks he can fly and fight, LMFAO.

What really made me smile was how the roommate said he likes our relationship. He says he envies how we can get along with each other and interact with each other so well, and that we act like we don't need anyone but each other.

That made me smile, although I do believe we need our families and value our close friends relationships. I talk to my family everyday, and so does Jay. We talk with close friends when they are free and when we are free. So we are not loners, like everyone thinks!! Just cause I don't talk to some people everyday, doesn't mean anything, those people are obviously not my close friends :D.

Anyways, I am just waiting for Jay to get home now from work. He'll be here in 2 hours and 40 mins, woot! :P

I rat proofed the living room so the rats could run around. But no matter how hard I vacuum they always seem to find something to chew on, and their climbing skills have improved it seems because they have managed to climb lots of things they couldn't climb before >_<. But they are my babies either way. I'm planning on buying them a doll house and making it into a RAT MANSION. Tomorrow we are taking them to the vet, weee!! Medicine for the girls :).

Yup, and as for the dreads that has to wait for a bit until the fall semester it seems *pout*. But I have come up with, what may be, my final idea for the tattoo I want to get for my grandmother. I spoke it over with her and she likes the idea; I am going to have her there while I get it done, so this will take place in Miami. After this tattoo, I am going to get the one for my mother.

On a side note, I have been contemplating a pubic mound tattoo because I love the placement, but Jay is very against anyone else seeing my nether regions, LOL. I understand so I am just holding off on the thought for maybe 3 or 4 years to see if I actually want it or not.

Gah, the more I see people with piercings the more my love for needle through flesh begins to surface, and I start to contemplate when I shouldn't until after my first tattoo. Ah, the hell with it, I will go through my transformation in time, no rush.

~Alicole Torren~

P.S. I promise pictures, I know I always say that nowadays, but maybe on Monday, after I get my eyebrows done, okie?

Well...

2008-06-04T05:39:41Z

...lately I have been getting these strange bursts of happiness. I am not used to being happy with life itself all the time it seems recently.

Despite my babies, Nezz and Nazz, being sick, things are not so bad.

Although I do admit, I wish they were healthy because it would make everything great. But then again that is how life works isn't it? Fate never gives you the FULL package, and if you are lucky enough to get it, it is only for what seems like a short while.

But we are going to take them to the doctor's soon. I wanted it to be this week so badly, but we have to wait until next pay check. I just feel so bad about it because they have been sick for well over a month now :(.

Either way, things will improve in their case. It must and it will! I am too attached to them for anything bad to happen to them at this point. They're my daughters and I love them dearly.

On a lighter note, why is Jay so wonderful? God, I love him so much, even when he is mad at me and vice versa. It's funny how he always asks me, "Does it hurt?" and obviously I reply with a "What?" and he says, "Your cheeks from smiling all the time." And ironically enough I respond with a smile, lol :P. He just always seems to make me smile, even when I cry because I am so worried about Nezz and Nazz lately.

Jay has a way of making everyone laugh though, he's a funny one and I am glad he is mine. I wish I could send him home to see his family and friends because he misses them so much and it sucks that we don't have the money to do so as of yet. But soon he will come to visit, so look out everyone! ^_^

Yay for dreads! I should be getting them within the next month and I am a bit nervous. It may seem small to some people, but this is a big change for me. Yes I have had different facial piercings and brightly colored hair and an undershave, but this is a biggie for me because I can't hide it or make it look like it is not what it is. Piercings can be hidden with retainers, undershaves can be hidden with the longer hair over it, and the brightly colored hair I had in the past was not much of a shocker, I never did my whole head the different colors I have had (fuchsia, a sort of pink shade, red, and orange). I am happy that I am making the decision to be myself and not blend in with everyone else.

Well, I start school on the 30th and all this time to think will cease because I always ignore introspection while in school-mode or at least I try to because it is a bit distracting as you can tell ;). So enjoy it while it lasts!!

~Alicole Torren~

Wonder

2008-05-31T05:51:06Z

I could never asked to have been given such a wonderful person.

Moments that I spend with him could last forever.

Thank you fate for giving him to me.

Love was all I wanted.

You remembered!

But I also wanted other things which you forgot to give me too.

And I don't care to be completely honest about it.

No matter how important they seemed.

I have the important one.

The only one!

~Alicole Torren~

So..

2008-05-29T00:17:44Z

..It's been interesting these past few days. My self esteem has gotten much better, and I am guessing it's from sticking to them gym for what is going to be 2 weeks at the end of this one. My knee feels a whole lot stronger and I am losing weight which is an added bonus since the work out is primarily for my knee's benefit not my weight :P. Anyways, things have been good here at home. Me an Jay have been in a dandy mood lately; I wonder if you can pull cheek muscles from smiling all the time? :) Things are also financially stable, but we need to take care of the car (new oil and tires) and we need to take the rats to the vet. But yeah, things have been really mellow lately.

I need to put pictures online of me, Jay, and the rats....but I am waiting until my eyebrows are done so I can put mine up ^_^.

So as for my tattoo ideas, I still have one idea in mind that survived so far from the five or so that I had before, but I'm still playing with it. It's mainly the placement and how I want it to contoure to my body since it is to be as realistic as I would like it to be. But yeah, it'll be a year soon that I have been thinking about it and I will give it a while longer until I can fully figure out my idea, get money for it, and find a decent artist.

On another note, I am done with piercings for now and I will probably wait until after I get some ink on me to get another one (it must be a middle piercing: septum, medusa, tongue, center labret, center lip ring, or belly button again).

But yeah, the reason for putting a hold on the body mods is so that I can work on what to do with my hair.

I am planning on dread installations or blue hair dye or both. I keep running into issues though. I want the installations, but I have to continue to go to the gym so I don't know how washing my hair is going to turn out from all the sweating and such since you can only wash your hair once a week when you have them installed. Then I thought about the dye, but I am worried about damaging my hair really badly, and I have never gone that bright before so I am not sure how to go about doing that (the brightest I have gone was a really bright fushcia, then red, and later, orange).

Either way, all I know is that eventually, I will not look the way I use to be anymore, I will look the way I want to be :).

<3

~Alicole Torren~

Yay! A Game For My LJ Friends!

2008-05-22T19:04:38Z

Send me a comment and I will answer these questions for you guys :).

a) tell you why I befriended you
b) associate you with something random
c) tell you something I like about you
d) tell you a memory I have of you
e) ask something I've always wanted to know about you
f) tell you my favorite user pic of yours
g) in return, you must post this in your LJ

~Alicole Torren~

Rain

2008-05-16T16:16:44Z

It's raining outside today.....it constantly reminds me of the pain in my knee. I love the rain but I hate this pain. Get better soon.

~Alicole Torren~

Alrighty Then!

2008-05-14T18:37:17Z

So Jay started his job on Saturday, and all is well except for the fact that some of the people he works with (including his boss) are fucking bitches.

Damn, talk about mean.

They talk shit in front of your face in Chinese and point at you and make faces, they blame shit on you that is in no way possible your fault, they eat up all the food meant for ALL the employees on breaks, and the list goes on!!

Mind you these Chinese bitches own a Japanese restaurant (talk about fucking hypocrites); everyone knows the Chinese despise Japan, yet this bitches open up a Japanese restaurant because they know there is more fucking money in a Japanese restaurant than in a Chinese one. Plus, they don't even try to learn Japanese. For instance, they pretty much made up a fucking word and claimed it was Japanese for welcome, and my baby (being well-educated in common Japanese phrases) said they were wrong, and even a customer who came in said they were wrong, yet they refuse to believe that, lmao.

Ah, stupidity is just a disease that spreads no matter what culture, race, gender, etc. you are.

Anyways, on another note, these days have been long ones without Jay. I got to get to the gym for my knee and I keep procrastinating.....maybe today? Well anyways, I am in a better mood lately, and things are on the brighter side. I don't know, maybe because I am getting my dread falls in a month or 2? I just need a change in appearance, I hate how I look, it's not good enough for me. Everyone around me seems to be so beautiful and I just feel like the ugly duckling in the group. But it doesn't matter anymore, those feelings don't tear me apart or control me anymore, they are more in the back of my mind I guess. Gah, I love Jay soo much (Today is our 14 month anniversary) :D.

~Alicole Torren~

So yeah...

2008-05-09T22:08:47Z

These days have been long ones......I've been working on a project for Mother's Day (shhhh! don't tell, lol). But yeah, things have been good. I've been in a real good mood lately.

Jay starts work tomorrow and I am so excited for him, and for us, because this means we don't have to worry about scrambling for money every month for the rent, light bill, car bills, phone bill, etc.

So, I don't know, I guess the only thing I sort of miss is going out. I just miss dancing really, and being around cool people. I miss my friends, or at least the people that called me their friend.

Oh! Yesterday I went to go see Zarrah (my cool new body piercer), and she changed my jewelry out. Let's just say, I will no longer go see Willie for piercings (my boy can still go if he wants :P). Because of Willie not telling me that he put in 20g jewelry instead of my regular 18g, Zarrah had to stretch my nostrils to put in the regular sized jewelry. Man, that sensation was wonderful!!! Seriously, I hear of people talk of stretching cartilage, but that was just awesome.......I miss have stretched lobes (they went from a 2g to I think 18g and/or nearly closed up now; I am still planning on repiercing them but I am unsure whether to do orbitals or 1/2 inch stretch).

~Alicole Torren~